


On Your Secret Menu

by yeobaek



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista CBX, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Short, fluff-ish I guess...?, more like sad attempt at comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 22:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19858963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeobaek/pseuds/yeobaek
Summary: In which Baekhyun is half-terrified and half-turned on, Sehun can't language, and Minseok just wants people to stop abusing his door.





	On Your Secret Menu

Here’s the thing about coffee shops:

Every shop is unique, be it your typical overcrowded franchise or the quaint little hideaway tucked into a seldom-visited side street. The neon-filled Instagrammable hot place or the run-down little shack, run by an equally run-down old owner.

That’s not to say there aren’t overlaps, of course. It’s all there—in the décor, the furniture, the alternative instrumentals and familiar chart-toppers playing in the background. In the names and options on the menus.

But the people, the fleeting faces, the visitors—they’re the ones who differentiate special places from mere spaces. They create that universal yet distinctive atmosphere unique to each store, giving it its own character.

It’s that part which Baekhyun loves best.

That invisible veil hanging over brooding writers in dark corners, college students on Netflix (pending assignments abandoned in a sea of open tabs), fledgling couples taking too many selfies, weathered couples diligently ignoring each other as they upload #lovestagrams to their SNS.

It’s the occasional solitary enigma staring blankly into a half-empty mug, it’s Kris – the tall businessman with angry eyebrows who visits every Tuesday morning and orders a triple shot black coffee (scalding hot, regardless of the weather).

It’s Jongdae smiling coquettishly as he writes his number on yet another love-struck admirer’s takeaway cup, his indignant yelp when Minseok expertly lobs an empty milk carton at the back of his head without looking up from the intricate design he’s drawing in someone’s hazelnut latte.

Baekhyun has witnessed and experienced people and scenes of all sorts during the three years he’s been working at Café Ko Ko Bop.

So he’s only very slightly alarmed when the door bangs open one Thursday morning and a customer stomps in, violently slamming his hands on the front counter where Baekhyun’s manning the register.

“What can I legally order that probably won’t kill you, but only _just barely_?”

Baekhyun blinks.

“Um.”

Psychopathy is honestly such a shame, because Cuckoo Man is super damn attractive beyond the venomous sneer and angry glare marring his face.

Baekhyun warily eyes the thick strands of black hair falling messily into the stranger’s pretty brown eyes, the unbuttoned collar of his white dress shirt stretched over the widest shoulders he’s ever seen. He looks young—close to Baekhyun’s age, maybe a few years younger. Definitely too young to be contemplating death, at the very least. 

_Always the cute ones_ , Baekhyun laments internally.

“Well?”

He jerks his eyes up to see Cuckoo Man’s eyebrows twitching impatiently, fingers drumming sporadically against the counter top. Beyond his shoulder and across the room, Jongdae pauses where he’s clearing empty dishes to shoot them a curious look.

Too far away. Baekhyun would have to wriggle out of this one alone.

He pastes a smile on his face and gestures grandly at the handwritten menu behind him.

“I’m terribly sorry sir, Café Ko Ko Bop prides ourselves in providing a delicious and _safe_ experience to our customers. I’m afraid my morals won’t allow me to support any threats to your well-being. May I suggest our daily special instead? Our XOXO latte is very popular amongst the regulars.”

He flutters his lashes and cocks his head to the side, mouth stretched in a wide grin.

Cuckoo Man falters, clearly caught off-guard by Baekhyun’s cheery spiel. His eyebrows halt mid-twitch, expression shifting from furious to confused.

“Er. It’s not for me. I’m just. I mean, Chanyeol just…” he trails off, slowly straightening into an upright position as his hands slide off the counter.

Baekhyun nods sagely.

“Yes, of course. I see.” He most certainly does not. But the murderous glint in Cuckoo Man’s eyes is slowly fading, and the clear distress on his face has Baekhyun frowning as he’s hit by a wave of sympathy.

He purses his lips in thought.

“I’ve heard prison is pretty uncomfortable though, so perhaps you’d like to reconsider the whole… attempted murder thing?”

“Uh-“

“Oh, hey!” Baekhyun snaps his fingers. “You should try our chamomile latte! It’s one of our signature menus, great for relieving stress. Minseok’s a genius with coffee.”

The petite manager and head barista of Café Ko Ko Bop perks up at the sound of his name, turning to glance in their direction from his post at the espresso machine. He takes in the customer’s half-angry, half-bewildered expression and promptly looks away, returning his attention to the cappuccino he’s currently making.

Baekhyun can deal with the crazies.

“So, how about it?”

Cuckoo Man’s mouth flaps open and shut as he struggles for words. The sharp edge of his jawline literally trembles as he stares at Baekhyun for a long moment, then dazedly nods in agreement.

“Great! That’ll be 3,900 won.”

Baekhyun snatches the card shakily offered to him, tapping his feet to the rhythm of the shop’s background music as he rings up the order. He returns the card and receipt to the stunned customer, waving a hand toward the other end of the counter.

“You can pick up your drink over there when it’s ready.”

Cuckoo Man simply nods, muttering under his breath as he moves away. Baekhyun calls out to Minseok to reconfirm the order, then exhales in relief as he returns to facing the front.

_I don’t get payed enough for this job._

Jongdae returns from the tables he’d been cleaning, tray stacked high with used mugs and kitchenware. He deposits the dishes in the sink and slides up next to Baekhyun, nudging his arm with a pointy elbow.

“Who’s the stud?” His lips are curled with poorly-concealed curiosity.

“Forget it. Homicidal tendencies.”

“Ah.” Jongdae shakes his head, clicking his tongue knowingly. They watch as Minseok calls out the finished order and Cuckoo Man shuffles over to pick it up, sniffing hesitantly at the lid. He nearly drops his cup when he glances over at the counter and notices the two employees observing him.

Baekhyun raises his hand in a friendly wave. “Have a great day!”

Cuckoo Man splutters, yelping as piping hot latte sloshes over the top of his cup and onto his hand. Red-faced, he practically sprints to the café entrance, long-legs carrying him across the distance in an impressively short amount of time.

“Always the cute ones,” Jongdae sighs.

\---

There’s a daily lull in the early evenings, after the pandemonium of morning rushes, chaotic lunch breaks, and quick afternoon pick-me-ups.

It’s Baekhyun’s favourite time of day—that ambivalent period straddling the divide between afternoon and twilight, when the remnants of golden hour linger in faint rays scattering across the wooden surface of the shop tables. The café is usually almost empty during this time, save for the few stragglers curled up on a chair or worn sofa, ear buds in place and book in hand.

Today, the signs of early autumn are palpable in the mild weather. Minseok has opened the bay windows at the front of the store, and white curtains billow gently as a light breeze floats in. The smell of Jongdae’s freshly baked chocolate chip cookies permeates the air, blanketing the occupants in a homely and comforting vibe.

Baekhyun’s humming along to a random song playing on the radio (some weird but catchy number about navigations and UN Villages), half-listening as Jongdae relays his most recent romantic drama to him and Minseok. They’re rearranging the desserts display while roasting a fresh batch of coffee beans, hands moving efficiently as they work through their tasks in rehearsed tandem. It’s the perfect balance between productivity and relaxation.

Baekhyun sighs contentedly, savouring the peaceful moment.

_BANG!_

He’s just finished placing a glass cover on the cookie platter when the door to Café Ko Ko Bop bursts open, bells jingling loudly to signal a new visitor. Wincing at the noisy disruption, he looks up and freezes when he sees Cuckoo Man moving toward the counter.

_Oh boy._

Cuckoo Man’s hair is pushed back and off his face today, displaying his features in all their chiseled glory. He’s got one hand stuffed into the pocket of his grey blazer and Baekhyun can just make out the fine lines of his collar bones peeking out from beneath a silky sky-blue shirt. His eyes trail up, meeting Cuckoo Man’s and _oh wow, those eyelashes are insane._

Baekhyun takes a steadying breath, drying his hands on a kitchen cloth. He pushes up the sleeves of his sweater, fixing a grin into place as he approaches the waiting customer.

“Welcome to Cuckoo B- er, Ko Ko Bop. What can I get you?”

“Sehun.”

Baekhyun’s smile wobbles.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh Sehun.”

The tips of the stranger’s ears are turning bright red at an alarming rate. Baekhyun observes this impressive demonstration of human biology with mild interest, before scrunching his eyebrows and twisting his lips into an apologetic smile.

“I don’t think that’s on our menu…?”

The deep blush spreads rapidly across Cuckoo Man’s cheeks and over his nose. Granted, the stark contrast against his pale skin and blue shirt is surely a testament to complementary colour theory, but Baekhyun is too confused to properly enjoy this new form of modern art.

Cuckoo Man lifts a hand to dejectedly grind a palm into his face.

“Me. Sehun. My name is Sehun.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun’s face lights up with comprehension. Well, at least now he had a name to give the police if the need arose. “Welcome back, Sehun. Did you enjoy your latte?”

Cucko- _Sehun_ pauses attacking his face to aim a sheepish smile at Baekhyun, who graciously grants himself a moment for composure because homicidal Sehun is cute, but _smiling_ Sehun is on a whole new level. Baekhyun bemoans his tragic taste in men. As hip as ‘death by killer smile’ sounds, his non-existent immunity against potential psychopaths and murderers was objectively just a huge pain in the ass.

“Actually yeah, it did kind of help with the… de-stressing thing. I didn’t think about strangling Chanyeol for an entire two hours.”

There’s a faint note of pride in Sehun’s voice, which quickly melts into horror as his words seem to reach his ears. He waves his hands wildly in front of him, frantically shaking his head.

“That didn’t come out right- I’m not- I wouldn’t actually…”

Baekhyun is nodding absently, wide eyes flicking down to scan his vicinity for potential weapons. Sadly, the only objects within reach are a heart-shaped stamp for Café Ko Ko Bop’s drink coupons and the cash register, which he doubts he could even lift, let alone hurl. If he’d known he’d die like this, he would have just accepted that second cookie Jongdae had offered. Cruel, unjust life.

“I’m not crazy,” Sehun insists. Baekhyun _swears_ he actually sees Sehun’s lips wobble a bit. As distressingly at odds with Sehun’s haughty image this is, it strangely succeeds in reassuring Baekhyun that his death isn’t imminent. He’s fairly certain that petulant pouting isn’t a key characteristic of psychotic murderers.

Releasing the breath he’d been holding, he relaxes his death grip on the counter and smiles tentatively at Sehun.

“Okay. I’m glad you liked the latte.”

A look of utter relief spreads across Sehun’s face. Still glowing red, he clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck.

“Yeah. I kept thinking about…it…so, I came back. For more. Coffee. More coffee.”

The contrast between the murderous person who’d stomped into the shop a few days prior and the flustered man standing in front of him now is unbelievable. Talk about whiplash. Who says the range of human emotions isn’t amazing? Baekhyun chuckles lightly.

“You’re in the right place then. What can I get you, Sehun?” 

“Um… anything that can help with a rapid heart rate?”

Baekhyun frowns, eyes narrowing in concern.

“I’m no doctor, but perhaps _not_ more caffeine…?”

He really doesn’t want to be the one to pick Sehun’s body up off the floor if he dies. Despite the tight shirt hinting at his glorious figure, Sehun towers way over him and Baekhyun had spent all of lunch break mopping the floors. Maybe Jongdae would help out, if he groveled enough.

“Right. Of course. Stupid, ha-ha. Stupid question.” Sehun’s voice sounds strained. “I, uh. Maybe I’m just hungry.”

Baekhyun brightens. He points at the glass display next to them.

“Would you like to try our food options? Jongdae makes fantastic finger sandwiches.”

He jerks his head at Jongdae, who is restocking their cup sleeves a few feet away. Jongdae glances over and shoots them a saucy wink.

At this point, Sehun’s beginning to resemble the cherry tomatoes on their finger sandwiches. A very manly, very cute cherry tomato.

“I- um, s-sandwich,“ Sehun stutters. “Yes.”

“4,700 won.”

Baekhyun whistles happily, waving at Sehun’s miserable, broad back as he walks out the door—takeaway bag in hand.

\---

_Pavlov would be proud_ , Baekhyun thinks, sighing in resignation as a loud bang rips through the low chatter filling Café Ko Ko Bop.

“My door,” whimpers Minseok.

He furiously squeezes the handle of his milk frother. Jongdae pats his shoulder, popping a maraschino cherry in his mouth and leaning back on his elbows for a better view as Sehun stomps toward the counter.

Baekhyun side-eyes Jongdae. He side-eyes him _hard_.

Not for long however, because his eyes immediately gravitate back to Sehun, who looks like he’s just stepped out of a Dazed cover. Tight, _tight_ jeans, distressed and ripped at the knees. Plain white t-shirt under a perfectly fitted leather jacket.

_I-is that eyeliner?_

Inner Baekhyun sheds a few happy tears.

“Nice to see you again.”

He silently praises himself for keeping his tone neutral as Sehun jerks to a halt in front of him. There’s something slightly off about the tall man’s expression, like he’s grappling, bracing himself against something. Then, he seems to reach a decision and all three men behind the counter do a double-take as Sehun smirks seductively and cocks his hip to one side.

“Dizziness. Chills. Anxiety.” A hand drags through his hair in slow motion.

Baekhyun’s pretty sure medical symptoms aren’t supposed to sound sexy, but what does Baekhyun know? The world of fetishes is vast and largely undiscovered. He clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Are- are you sure you don’t want to visit a doctor? It sounds like you might have a cold.”

Sehun abruptly straightens up, vigorously shaking his head. “No, I’m fine! I’m just- it’s a bit…” he flounders, wringing his hands. His face lights up. Gripping the neck of his shirt, he tugs it down and lifts his head to expose the long column of his neck.

“It’s a bit hot in here, don’t you think?” He says, biting down on his bottom lip.

Silence.

Jongdae pops another cherry in his mouth, horrified fascination reflected in his eyes.

“We can... turn up the A/C if you’d like?” Baekhyun says. He ducks his head to hide his amusement.

There’s a short pause as Sehun holds his pose for another beat, then he’s sighing as he curls in on his impressive frame. His ears are tinted a familiar pink when he wordlessly holds out his card.

“Never mind. Low blood sugar.”

“White chocolate Love Shot shake?”

“Please.” 

Sehun buries his face in his hands as Baekhyun rings up his order. He doesn’t look up when Jongdae hands him his drink with a sympathetic pat on the back, nor when Baekhyun flutters his fingers goodbye as he walks out the entrance.

The door slams shut behind him.

“ _My door,_ ” Minseok moans.

\---

It’s not Sehun who strides into Ko Ko Bop when the door bursts open again the next afternoon, but a giant of a man with striking blond hair and large, curious eyes.

He peers around the café, eyes sweeping over the customers reclining in their seats. They land on Jongdae, who is standing at the register. The man quickly marches toward him, eyes ablaze with intention.

“Welcome to Café Ko Ko B- “

“Are you the angel?”

For once, Jongdae is speechless. His eyes flick over to Baekhyun, whose jaw has also dropped open in surprise.

The stranger squints at Jongdae, eyes roaming over his face and lingering on his mouth. The tension in his shoulders visibly disappears as he breaths out, a look of wonder spreading over his features.

“Wow, he wasn’t kidding,” the man mutters, pressing his knuckles to his lips. The gap between the deep rumble of his voice and his boyish features is almost comical.

Jongdae laughs nervously, Adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps.

“Er, can I take your order…?”

“Did you dye your hair?” the stranger suddenly asks, ignoring Jongdae’s question. He frowns, tilting his head confusedly.

“I’ve had this same colour for the past two years?”

“That’s strange, he said you were a redhead.” The tall blond’s frown deepens.

Comprehension dawns on Jongdae’s face and he lifts a delicate finger to point at Baekhyun. _Traitor._

“You mean him?”

Baekhyun squeaks as the man turns and fixes his intense eyes on him. The scrutiny is back, and Baekhyun squirms uncomfortably beneath his heated stare. There has to be some sort of weirdo convention on this side of town. What else could explain the sudden influx in crazy customers?

Maybe Baekhyun is just a weirdo magnet.

The man releases a low puff of breath, slowly shaking his head.

“That can’t be right,” he says. “Don’t get me wrong, I mean, you’re cute and all but…”

He shrugs apologetically, turning to gaze at Jongdae. Ah, Baekhyun recognises that misty look building in his eyes.

“You. You’re unreal.”

His voice drops a few octaves and he winks.

Jongdae blinks, lashes fluttering and cheeks turning pink with pleasure. He’s not blind to his own attractiveness, get real. Admirers he’s used to. But this gorgeous giant?

Jongdae is shameless, but Blondie just might be even more shameless than the great Kim Jongdae himself.

_BANG!_

Baekhyun’s convinced he actually _hears_ Minseok dying a bit on the inside as the door crashes open once more and Sehun stumbles in.

His eyes swerve frantically around the shop, widening in horror as he takes in the scene at the front counter. Baekhyun momentarily ponders the feasibility of teleportation as Sehun materialises next to the blond stranger in the blink of an eye, hands fisting in the giant’s collar.

“I will end you,” he hisses.

The three baristas watch in silence, impressed by Sehun’s show of strength as he drags the tall man away from the counter and across the shop toward the entrance. The blond giant splutters, fingers desperately gripping the doorframe before he’s pulled away.

The door clicks softly shut behind them.

Minseok lets out a low whistle. “Well, at least they didn’t slam the door on their way out.”

“His voice, guys. Did you hear his voice?” Jongdae still looks dazed, hand resting on his chest as he slumps against the counter. His tone is laced with a note of wonder. “I don’t even know his name yet and I’m already in love.”

_BANG!_

“FOR CRYING OUT LOUD,” Minseok screams, throwing his hands in the air.

Blondie’s in the doorway, hair a mess and clothes rumpled. He pauses, gasping for air before aiming a brilliant smile at Jongdae. Baekhyun resists the urge to shield his eyes from the blinding white of Blondie’s teeth.

“I’m Chanyeol,” he says. He blows an air kiss in Jongdae’s direction. “Wait for me, beautiful.”

A ghostly hand appears from behind him, twisting in his hair and yanking him away. Chanyeol disappears with a pained grunt, leaving behind Jongdae’s dreamy sighs and Minseok’s quiet sobs.

Baekhyun makes a mental note to check the job listings for barista vacancies.

\---

Baekhyun’s doing a final sweep as he wraps up his shift, when Sehun returns on a quiet Sunday evening.

There’s no fanfare, no banging doors, no leather jackets or flamboyant poses. In fact, Sehun is the most dressed down version of himself that Baekhyun has seen thus far, wearing a plain grey sweatshirt and faded Levi’s. His unstyled hair looks soft and fluffy where it falls into his face.

They make eye contact and Sehun moves to the corner where Baekhyun is sweeping beneath unoccupied tables. It's private where they stand, a good distance away from the few customers sitting in the cafe.

Minseok’s eyes peek out from behind the espresso machine, filled with weary trepidation.

“Hey,” Sehun says. He looks nervous, more so than usual. One hand scratches lightly at his cheek as he slowly shuffles his feet in front of him. Baekhyun thinks he looks kind of adorable.

“Hi.”

“So, about last time. I’m sorry. Chanyeol can be a bit…much.” Sehun grimaces, rolling his eyes. “I hope he didn’t give you too much trouble.”

Baekhyun laughs, recalling the memory. He supposes he can't really deny the humour of the situation, now that he’d had a few days to get over the initial shock.

“It’s fine. Jongdae seems pretty taken with him.”

Sehun chuckles, sharp canines poking out from between pink lips. His eyes have shrunken into twinkling half-moons and Baekhyun is a bit star-struck, to be completely honest.

“He left quite an impression on Chanyeol as well.”

Right on cue, Jongdae steps out of the kitchen, precariously balancing several trays of cupcakes in his arms. His eyes widen when he sees Sehun standing next to Baekhyun and he dumps the trays on the counter, smoothing down his hair.

“Sad boy,” he calls out. “Where is your delicious friend?”

He cranes his neck, scanning the area for attractive blond giants. Sehun looks vaguely affronted at the unceremonious nickname.

“Chanyeol’s away on business. It’s just me.”

“Oh,” Jongdae drawls, immediately bored. He picks up a tray of cupcakes and begins shoving them one by one into the glass display.

“Get on with it then. _Today_ , if you please.”

Baekhyun has to bite down on his lip to prevent the burst of laughter that threatens to pop out at the dismay crossing Sehun’s features. He coughs into his fist, propping his broom against the wall.

“I was just about to leave, but I can help you with your order before I go. You might have to give me a minute to Google your symptoms though.” He smiles to show that he’s joking.

“I’m not actually sick,” Sehun says. Dark lashes fan out across the top of his cheeks as he looks down, laughing softly.

There's a moment of hesitation, then he takes a deep breath and looks straight at Baekhyun. His brown eyes are warm and beseeching.

“Look, I know I made a horrible first impression—though in my defense, that was the fourth time that week that Chanyeol broke down our server, so I was in a really shitty mood—but you were just so sweet, and I came back to apologise and get your name but I suck with words, and your smile is sort of insane, and I just kept spewing nonsense and god, you probably think I’m such a loser, and I still don’t know your name but I just had to get all these feels off my chest, then Chanyeol had to go sticking his nose in everything and making things worse, and I just…”

He trails off as he notices Baekhyun slowly backing away from his word tsunami.

“I just… can’t get you off my mind,” Sehun finishes miserably.

A long silence lingers as Baekhyun’s brain works furiously to decipher the tangle of words he’s just been assaulted by. Disbelief spreads across his face as he gawks, pointing at himself, then Sehun, then back to himself again.

“Let me get this straight. You,” he gestures up and down at Sehun’s tall frame. “You like me?”

Sehun looks like he’s seconds away from internal combustion. “A lot.”

“Ah.” Baekhyun cradles his chin between two fingers, nodding slowly. He feels his smile begin to grow as he quietly studies Sehun’s shy grin.

“I know just what you need. It's supposed to be a secret menu, but I'll make an exception for you.”

“Huh?” Sehun frowns, not sure how to react to this unusual response. “Um, sure. What is it?”

His lips part in a small _oh_ of surprise when Baekhyun reaches out and gently takes his hand. Minseok solemnly covers Jongdae’s mouth, drowning out his protests as he drags him into the kitchen.

Stardust twinkles in Baekhyun's eyes as he gazes up into Sehun’s awestruck face.

“Me,” he says. “Nice to meet you, I’m Baekhyun.”

-

**Author's Note:**

> *Sorry for this hastily finished, unbetaed mess. I wanted to get everything written down while the image was fresh in my head.  
> *Experimenting with different styles and genres because identity crises are what I excel at. Sorry for ruining every writing trope ever (more to come).  
> *I just wanted an excuse to harass Sehun, tbh. I chose Baekhyun because he basically ruins everyone’s life by inventing bias-wrecking. (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)


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